To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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