party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
