I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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