Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
