i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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