If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
