Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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