Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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