You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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