FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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