dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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