Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
