a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
3 2 1 whiskey
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
