I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
