He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
