Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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