You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
