i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I look better un-naked...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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