Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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