It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
