that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
