were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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