**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
