dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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