but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
