Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
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