I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
