I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
