i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she told me i tasted like america
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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