I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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