I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
