Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
