Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
