So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
