She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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