True but thats because hes a fetus.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
