I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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