Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
