remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
either way he was missing a nipple.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
