The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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