Barsexuality is the new black.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
