Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
