Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
