You can't special order awesome
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it glows. i had to have it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
