someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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