a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
