I love having hate sex.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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