I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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