is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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