you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
