I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
