South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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