and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i drank out of a bidet.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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